What else might happen?

Yep. There is definitely a bruise..

Someone had kicked my son.. Not just someone. It was an adult who we trusted to care for him at his school.. How could this happen?.. How could this para think she would get away with striking Noah?.. Why him?.. He can’t even tell an adult.. We have to call the police.. How could the school employ someone capable of doing this?.. Why aren’t there cameras in the rooms – at least the special education rooms – to deter things like this?.. Thank God someone saw it and reported it.. What else might have happened before that we don’t know about?.. What else happened that he couldn’t tell us?.. What else might happen that he won’t be able to tell us..?

Welcome to my stream of consciousness four and a half years ago upon getting a call from his school that he had been kicked by a para-professional in retaliation for a meltdown he was having where he had been aggressive. There was no justification. The para was fired. Noah lived to fight another day. Within a year he was at a new school that ended up being a better fit for what he needed. Within two years I switched careers and began working as a para in the room where the abuse took place. This year I began working as the special education teacher in the very same room that he was kicked in. Nevertheless, the thought persisted. What else might happen that he won’t be able to tell us..?

Part of the reason for that is that Noah himself knows no physical boundaries. He has the potential to inflict injury and extreme awkwardness on others too if they are ill prepared for him. He will curiously touch himself without shame if given the opportunity. He will also randomly & innocently frisk females nearby, searching for technological paraphernalia hiding in their bras. Talk about awkward..

As you can see, Noah has no real concept of inappropriate touch. Whether we’re talking about physical, sexual or emotional, he would have zero ability to tell us that something bad had occurred. Nothing short of visual evidence or the moral compass of a responsible witness could alert us to wrongdoing that targeted him. Studies are inconclusive and infrequent, but estimates are that children with special needs are more than twice as likely than their peers to be physically or sexually abused (Petersilia, J., 2001). This is at once horrifying and despicable. It is also a very real truth that we have to constantly consider. What else might happen that he won’t be able to tell us..?

The thought is paralyzing.

Taking a step back from the emotion, we know intuitively that he is incredibly safe at his new school. We also know now that his old school is quite safe too, despite what happened. We know that working with males probably doesn’t significantly increase his risk of abuse. We know he is very clumsy, bruising himself regularly. Nevertheless, the apprehension is always baked into the cake of Noah’s care. The question will linger forever. What else might happen that he won’t be able to tell us?

Reference:

Petersilia, J. R. (2001). Crime Victims with Developmental Disabilities. doi:10.17226/10042